[x]

Graduation DayGraduation Day:

They told us we would be alright...

We had fought with honour and won our titles.

We had overcome trials together -

Watching dozens of our siblings fall in the line of duty.

For this they had promised us, a wondrous welcome;

A bountiful world of adventure, with a myriad of paths.

All this, they said, awaited us in the stone cities.

Large metropolises, where the working folk resided...

There were hundreds of us, who made that journey.

Walking miles across the scorching desert,

Clinging to a hope of the fortunes beyond.

Yet what awaited us was not a promised land -

Nor was it a life based on the merit we had earned.

I wish...I wish I was a monster
So I could be kind
And break the stereotypes.

I wish I was colored
So I could respect people
And break the stereotypes.

I wish I was a man
So I could be kind to women
And break the stereotypes.

I wish I had male friends
So we could all be..
Just friends
And break the stereotypes.

I wish I had autism
So I could prove that autism,
Does NOT mean "dumb".
And I could break the stereotypes.

I wish I could change the world.
But sometimes, you can't break a stereotype.

Only stereotypes, can break you.

Lingerhow can i move forward,
when the fingerprints of my insecurities
are still lingering within my chest,
pressing against my ribs like piano keys?
i am just waiting, for the day,
when the saddest parts of me
are overcome with songs of serenity.

Pretty Blue PillsPretty blue pills,
shiny in my palm,
the ticket to my peace,
to my eternal calm.

They're so perfectly round,
and soon they'll be in me.
The closest to perfect
that I'll ever be.

They go down so smooth.
Five, ten, fifteen and twenty.
Soon I'll be gone.
Twenty-five and Thirty.

That should be enough,
but I'll play it safe.
Thirty-five and forty.
Now I have no more to take.

The bottle is empty,
as empty as I feel.
None of this is happening,
too good to be real.

But soon I start to drift
into a dark unknown fog.
Somewhere quite distantly.
I hear a muffled sob.

But I blow it off as fake.
Nobody could possibly care.
I doubt anyone's noticed
th

You don't just die.Do you understand?
The blade against your wrist
Doesn't just slice your skin.
It cuts through others
Hearts
Souls
And sanity.

Do you understand?
You don't just kill yourself.
You kill everyone.
Everyone dies
Everyone cries
Everyone suffers
From YOUR goodbyes.

Do you understand?
You don't just die.
You take everyone down
With you.

PhantomWhen life
or fate
or whatever it is
that puts things together
and takes them apart...
when It
amputated you,
it left me
with a phantom
limb
and you are still attached
to my body
when I dance
and make love
alone

ten ways this breakup isn't meant for the movies1.
you go out for twelve eggs and come back
with half a dozen and a new girlfriend.
you hold the eggs out to me like
six dead birds is enough of a peace offering.

2.
i push the eggs out of your hand and stay
with my hand over your heart as i watch them
fall. if they do not hit the ground, this is all a dream.

3.
the eggs smash on the tile and splatter
on the cherry wood cabinets, newly installed
that cost me two paychecks.

3.
the egg whites hit your leather shoes that
you’ve worn for two months straight
because you think they make you look more sophisticated.

3.
the egg whites hit the fridge halfway up, barely touching
the moose mag

Dear friend,You have to understand, dear
The reason to why I run.
I run away from reality
From the lungs that cannot
Take anymore smoke
From the heart that threatens to
Stop...
I run away because
I'm a coward
Because I'm afraid of life
Afraid to care or love.
I'm afraid that every time
I'm glad it blows up in my face
And that every time I smile
I shed a million more tears.
That's why I run, dear
You have to understand.
I was destined to be a fighter but
I don't want to fight anymore.
I was destined to be a warrior
But how am I supposed to win when
The war I fight is against life itself?
I know that I always blow everything up but-
I keep stepping on mines, dear...
...I keep stepping on mines...

ellipsisshe goes to sleep
clawing at her chest with pinpoint accuracy
for an emptiness she can’t describe,
but hates all the same. tomorrow

she will write a letter: “dear boy,
i always wanted to be somebody’s
flowery poem, but the verses carved in my arms
are riddled with ugly clichés. & you are why

i don’t sleep through the night. if
we were a language, i was the
subordinating conjunction, you were

the punctuation.

i remember you in staccato
conclusions, solemn absences
of goodbye”

brain squealsI beat depressions in the earth
for my brain squeals and waves
that burst in my wet ears
until something makes me drown.
I will. (again) V.

Virginia,

put rocks in pockets
and walk right in --
I'll drink your overcoat
until your throat weeps
and your soaked hair
weighs you down.

I promise.

with love,
Ouse.

P.S.
brain squeals are from cold sweats
sleep well.

TearsI am not afraid to cry.

I am not afraid for you to see the tears

My tears.

Don’t tell me I have no heart.

Don’t tell me I have no soul.

For without them I could not cry.

You may not see my tears but they are there.

I have learned to let myself cry for the things I’ve loved,

For the things I’ve lost.

They are silent tears, but they are mine.

So let me cry.

Let me show you I have a heart.

Let the things that touch my heart be shown through my tears.

I am not afraid to cry.

I am notI’m not your little boy.
You’re not my little girl.
I’m just someone you met,
And wants to change the world
I’m not the prince in your dreams
I don’t have smarts or might
I’m just the one that screams
And cries to sleep at night
I’m not who you want me to be.
I will never be what you are.
I’m myself, I am free.
I’m not ashamed of my scars
I’m not that weak
You’re not that strong
You still have company
But I’m still alone
So I speak
Though this poem.
It’s not a pretty love song
I’m just saying what pains me, explaining what’s going on.
Because I am not perfect,
I’m not retarded,
I’m just like you,
Broken Hearted
Never forget,
There is always a reason to be
And I won’t regret
I’m always happy to be me.

Second ShadowThe hand on your shoulder
The whispers in your mind
The words on your tongue
The voice in your throat
And the feelings in your soul

To drive to madness
To seduce the insane
To draw the blood
And dull the senses
To plague the memories
Of damage done
To fake safe haven
As the character changes

Light the anger and fuel the rage
Another mind to feed
A second shadow
To take you into eternity

Remnants

Hold on to my sanity every single day
I’m not gonna fall.
Those hungry, greedy holes you left
They start calling.

Just like a cold-blooded murderer
You use every heart you can find
When will you ever be satisfied?

You destroy everything you build
and tear everyone you love
Just to die and start over again.
Replay, replay, replay...
Until you grow weaker, and weaker.

You never destroyed me.
I destroyed myself to forget you.
I die every day in an endless cycle,
The rotating remnants of revolting hearts.

Just like water, I choke and swallow.
I mirror your mind, your thoughts, and your desire
And just like Narcissus, you fall deeper and

combatantI.
it strikes me
that this woman
could be a palace.

I marvel at
the opulent dome of
her brow, her arch
expression—

skin like a courtyard of
ivory tiles,
a thousand intersecting
golden lines about her
head and neck.

she beams from atop her
sunlit tower,
beatific and beautiful,

spreads her arms like
open doors,
invites you to be one of

the many
who have wandered her
lavish halls.

II.
I’ve often thought
of myself
as a castle:

all rough-hewn stone
and turrets,
a temper like molten
tar.

my head is crowned
with
embattled parapets,

weapons readied
at the crenels.

I look out from my
guerites, my brattices,
eyes like arrow-slits

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Day 29 - Theme - QuestionsQuestions are something that are always filling my life.
Questions everywhere I go, no matter who I'm with.
There are many types of questions out there.
Stupid questions, smart questions, weird questions, funny questions, serious questions.
There are more but I'm to lazy to list all of them.
But I will list some of the questions that I ask in life.

Why is there pain?
Why am I alive?
What is my purpose in life?
Why did she have to leave?
Why did he have to leave?
Why couldn't it have been different?
Why did we have to leave?
Why couldn't we stay?
What went wrong?
What's wrong with me?
Why did I have to turn out like this?
Am I

Day 28 - Theme - Friendship - Dedicated to CloudFriendships.
They can last forever or end so quickly.
But no matter how long the time we've been together...
I will promise you something.

I'll never forget you.

I'll never forget how we stood together no matter how much it hurt.
I'll never forget how you had my back and I had your's.

And most of all...
&

Day 27 - Theme - TearsTears fall without my permission.
The pain overflowing and everything slowing down.
Why?
The regret slipping into my already tainted heart.
Tears... everywhere.
I just can't seem to stop the crying!
"I'm fine, I'm fine. Can't you see?"
I say as tears start to fall down once again.
My heart broken yet still functioning.
Why is that?
Pain groping at this weak heart of mine.
When will it all end?
I just wish...
that these tears would stop flowing down.

Day 26 - Theme - WorthlessI am a worthless being.
People really don't need me after they're done using me.
They'll toy with my emotions...
but when they lose interest...
they'll just tell me im worthless and throw me away.
I guess...
if they SAY I am...
then it's true.

I am a worthless thing.
No one has a need for me and that...
is that.
Forever I will be worthless.
For who would NEED a broken puppet?

Day 25 - Theme - CopingI'm doing fine without you by my side.
I never said I needed you, never said I wanted you!
People look at me, worrying that I'm depressed or in pain since you left.
But look at me.
Clear your eys from these lies.
Seeing isn't believing!
Because I'm fine.
I'm coping rather well without you by my side.
Don't look at me with those eyes.
Those eyes filled with fake worry and unneeded pity.
It just annoys me, irratates me to my wit's end.
I won't lie, I used to have feelings for you.
But all those feelings I USED to have...
are all gone.
Replaced by feelings of distaste towards you.
So you can see now, right?

I'm fine without you.

Day 24 - Theme - MusicMusic...
the only thing that used to bring me and you together.
But now...
the music has stopped.
Whatever bridge there was between you and me has collapsed.
I wish...
that the melody I used to love listening to was still there.
But...
no matter how hard I try to listen...
I can't hear it.
Where has that beautiful melody gone?
The music that threaded us together.
The melody that we both could hear, even when the world couldn't.
The lyrics that only me and you could understand.

Where has it all gone?

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Submitted: December 16, 2012
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Winter

by ~xrainxxcloud, Dec 16, 2012, 1:36:51 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

I really hate the winter.
Not because of the cold, the snow, or the holidays.
But because of the days I know will never come back.
Winter is my harsh reality...
showing me that the days from the past, will only forever more...
be a memory.

Do you remember?
Remember us playing during the winter, running outside untill our noses were bright red.
Procrastinating from homework,wanting to escape into the winter wonderland outside...
we would run, and run, and run...

It's kind of ironic...
because when I was litttle I used to love the winter.
Because I loved the fact that I would go play outside with you and feel the wind in my face, the cold air as I breathed in.

But I know, that this winter will never be the same.
Because I don't have you near by anymore...
I don't have ANY of you near by anymore...
Isolated here in this dreadful neighborhood, all alone in my school as I walk the halls.
Now that winter's come I can say it, now that I'm gone I can say it...

The time we always spent together...
I'd taken it for granted.

And now I find myself saying that I miss those days...
who knew that it would be so painful to be all alone?

Winterby ~xrainxxcloud

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

~Splatter620 Jan 16, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

TnT bro…
I miss you, man
Fuck that landlord that made you move D:<

~xrainxxcloud Jan 16, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

D:< lol.

~Splatter620 Jan 17, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

landlords these days D:<

~xrainxxcloud Jan 17, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

I KNOW. RIGHT?!

~Splatter620 Jan 18, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

mhmm -3-

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Winter

Winterby ~xrainxxcloud

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