[x]

Graduation DayGraduation Day:

They told us we would be alright...

We had fought with honour and won our titles.

We had overcome trials together -

Watching dozens of our siblings fall in the line of duty.

For this they had promised us, a wondrous welcome;

A bountiful world of adventure, with a myriad of paths.

All this, they said, awaited us in the stone cities.

Large metropolises, where the working folk resided...

There were hundreds of us, who made that journey.

Walking miles across the scorching desert,

Clinging to a hope of the fortunes beyond.

Yet what awaited us was not a promised land -

Nor was it a life based on the merit we had earned.

I wish...I wish I was a monster
So I could be kind
And break the stereotypes.

I wish I was colored
So I could respect people
And break the stereotypes.

I wish I was a man
So I could be kind to women
And break the stereotypes.

I wish I had male friends
So we could all be..
Just friends
And break the stereotypes.

I wish I had autism
So I could prove that autism,
Does NOT mean "dumb".
And I could break the stereotypes.

I wish I could change the world.
But sometimes, you can't break a stereotype.

Only stereotypes, can break you.

Lingerhow can i move forward,
when the fingerprints of my insecurities
are still lingering within my chest,
pressing against my ribs like piano keys?
i am just waiting, for the day,
when the saddest parts of me
are overcome with songs of serenity.

Pretty Blue PillsPretty blue pills,
shiny in my palm,
the ticket to my peace,
to my eternal calm.

They're so perfectly round,
and soon they'll be in me.
The closest to perfect
that I'll ever be.

They go down so smooth.
Five, ten, fifteen and twenty.
Soon I'll be gone.
Twenty-five and Thirty.

That should be enough,
but I'll play it safe.
Thirty-five and forty.
Now I have no more to take.

The bottle is empty,
as empty as I feel.
None of this is happening,
too good to be real.

But soon I start to drift
into a dark unknown fog.
Somewhere quite distantly.
I hear a muffled sob.

But I blow it off as fake.
Nobody could possibly care.
I doubt anyone's noticed
th

You don't just die.Do you understand?
The blade against your wrist
Doesn't just slice your skin.
It cuts through others
Hearts
Souls
And sanity.

Do you understand?
You don't just kill yourself.
You kill everyone.
Everyone dies
Everyone cries
Everyone suffers
From YOUR goodbyes.

Do you understand?
You don't just die.
You take everyone down
With you.

PhantomWhen life
or fate
or whatever it is
that puts things together
and takes them apart...
when It
amputated you,
it left me
with a phantom
limb
and you are still attached
to my body
when I dance
and make love
alone

ten ways this breakup isn't meant for the movies1.
you go out for twelve eggs and come back
with half a dozen and a new girlfriend.
you hold the eggs out to me like
six dead birds is enough of a peace offering.

2.
i push the eggs out of your hand and stay
with my hand over your heart as i watch them
fall. if they do not hit the ground, this is all a dream.

3.
the eggs smash on the tile and splatter
on the cherry wood cabinets, newly installed
that cost me two paychecks.

3.
the egg whites hit your leather shoes that
you’ve worn for two months straight
because you think they make you look more sophisticated.

3.
the egg whites hit the fridge halfway up, barely touching
the moose mag

Dear friend,You have to understand, dear
The reason to why I run.
I run away from reality
From the lungs that cannot
Take anymore smoke
From the heart that threatens to
Stop...
I run away because
I'm a coward
Because I'm afraid of life
Afraid to care or love.
I'm afraid that every time
I'm glad it blows up in my face
And that every time I smile
I shed a million more tears.
That's why I run, dear
You have to understand.
I was destined to be a fighter but
I don't want to fight anymore.
I was destined to be a warrior
But how am I supposed to win when
The war I fight is against life itself?
I know that I always blow everything up but-
I keep stepping on mines, dear...
...I keep stepping on mines...

ellipsisshe goes to sleep
clawing at her chest with pinpoint accuracy
for an emptiness she can’t describe,
but hates all the same. tomorrow

she will write a letter: “dear boy,
i always wanted to be somebody’s
flowery poem, but the verses carved in my arms
are riddled with ugly clichés. & you are why

i don’t sleep through the night. if
we were a language, i was the
subordinating conjunction, you were

the punctuation.

i remember you in staccato
conclusions, solemn absences
of goodbye”

brain squealsI beat depressions in the earth
for my brain squeals and waves
that burst in my wet ears
until something makes me drown.
I will. (again) V.

Virginia,

put rocks in pockets
and walk right in --
I'll drink your overcoat
until your throat weeps
and your soaked hair
weighs you down.

I promise.

with love,
Ouse.

P.S.
brain squeals are from cold sweats
sleep well.

TearsI am not afraid to cry.

I am not afraid for you to see the tears

My tears.

Don’t tell me I have no heart.

Don’t tell me I have no soul.

For without them I could not cry.

You may not see my tears but they are there.

I have learned to let myself cry for the things I’ve loved,

For the things I’ve lost.

They are silent tears, but they are mine.

So let me cry.

Let me show you I have a heart.

Let the things that touch my heart be shown through my tears.

I am not afraid to cry.

I am notI’m not your little boy.
You’re not my little girl.
I’m just someone you met,
And wants to change the world
I’m not the prince in your dreams
I don’t have smarts or might
I’m just the one that screams
And cries to sleep at night
I’m not who you want me to be.
I will never be what you are.
I’m myself, I am free.
I’m not ashamed of my scars
I’m not that weak
You’re not that strong
You still have company
But I’m still alone
So I speak
Though this poem.
It’s not a pretty love song
I’m just saying what pains me, explaining what’s going on.
Because I am not perfect,
I’m not retarded,
I’m just like you,
Broken Hearted
Never forget,
There is always a reason to be
And I won’t regret
I’m always happy to be me.

combatantI.
it strikes me
that this woman
could be a palace.

I marvel at
the opulent dome of
her brow, her arch
expression—

skin like a courtyard of
ivory tiles,
a thousand intersecting
golden lines about her
head and neck.

she beams from atop her
sunlit tower,
beatific and beautiful,

spreads her arms like
open doors,
invites you to be one of

the many
who have wandered her
lavish halls.

II.
I’ve often thought
of myself
as a castle:

all rough-hewn stone
and turrets,
a temper like molten
tar.

my head is crowned
with
embattled parapets,

weapons readied
at the crenels.

I look out from my
guerites, my brattices,
eyes like arrow-slits

Second ShadowThe hand on your shoulder
The whispers in your mind
The words on your tongue
The voice in your throat
And the feelings in your soul

To drive to madness
To seduce the insane
To draw the blood
And dull the senses
To plague the memories
Of damage done
To fake safe haven
As the character changes

Light the anger and fuel the rage
Another mind to feed
A second shadow
To take you into eternity

Remnants

Hold on to my sanity every single day
I’m not gonna fall.
Those hungry, greedy holes you left
They start calling.

Just like a cold-blooded murderer
You use every heart you can find
When will you ever be satisfied?

You destroy everything you build
and tear everyone you love
Just to die and start over again.
Replay, replay, replay...
Until you grow weaker, and weaker.

You never destroyed me.
I destroyed myself to forget you.
I die every day in an endless cycle,
The rotating remnants of revolting hearts.

Just like water, I choke and swallow.
I mirror your mind, your thoughts, and your desire
And just like Narcissus, you fall deeper and

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I'm sorry I said goodbyeI remember the smell of summer, it lingers in the air.
I remember the smiles on our faces, faces aching from the wide grins.
Never forgetting, always wishing for those days to come back.
And in that moment when we laughed together, I took a step back, and loved what I saw.
Running around, tripping, and laughing the pain away, no tears shed at the blood that was spilled.
Hands stretched towards each other, holding on tight, and never letting go.
We walked, yet didn't know where we were going, nor did we really care.
Because all that mattered was that we were all going on an adventure, together.
Not caring, not worrying, just making our way through the streets with smiles on our faces.
The weight of our burdens weren't so heavy when we were all together-
our doubts and worries seemed to wither away.
We were together, having fun, and that's all that mattered.
Do you remember?

Of course, there were days when all the world's sorrows would come at you all of a suddenly.

10 things that I keep in mind wherever I goThere is no such thing as a fairy tale endingPeople can be so cruel and evil, their eyes staring you down as you tremble and try to hideFriends can be enemies within a day and enemies can be friends without you expecting it. There's always going to be someone out there who wants to tear you down and want to watch you fall and trip, so watch who you befriend and trustDreams are fragile and even though they're easy to make and build up on, they're also easy to break and crumble down. Don't wait for someone to come find you when you're waiting in the dark, sometimes you have to get up on your own two feet and get out there, all by yourself.Don't be afraid to try new things because in reality, they may be things that you fall in love withBe you. Don't let the status quot make you into someone you aren't, someone you're not comfortable to be. Don't give up just because it gets hard. How do you expect to achieve other goals when you can't even overcome hardships? Remember, wit

UntitledAngry at the world and everyone, she stood, half broken and half dead.
So many times she promised herself she would do better, that tomorrow would be the day when everything would change and she would pull herself together.

But tomorrow never came.

Breaking all her morals and all her promises, she threw everything away.
All for nothing.
She used to have dreams that reached the skies, but all of that is gone now as she stumbles and trips.
Here lies the shell of a girl that I used to be.
Broken and confused, I made my way, holding on to all the wrong goals and stupidly averting my eyes from everything that I didn't wish to say.

I would love to say that I'm not like that anymore, but I would be lying to everyone and myself. I CAN say though, that I have learned more and know more and that I'm not so stupid anymore. I've come a long way and even though it's not much, I can bring myself to say that I'm di

Open up for meI know things are shit for you now.
And you really don't want to talk to me
or see me smile or hear me laugh...
but I really do care.
Yeah sure, I give the most stupidest advice and say really mean things sometimes, but only because I feel as though it'll benefit you.
But you're probably thinking, "How would I know?"
Well, I WOULD know if you would just talk to me.
I would know exactly what to say and how to make you feel better...
but you never tell me anything.
Never open up to me.
You're always saying how I'm never there for you and don't understand you.
But how can I do that, when you never tell me ANYTHING?
You just complain to me and I sit there, not knowing what to say.
C'mon, really?
You complain about all kinds of things to me, and I really want to help you I do...
but then when I TRY to, you push me out and reject my help.
Just... what do you want me to do for you?
I'm "stupid" and "useless" right?
Well guess what?
You are COMPLETELY correct.
I AM stupid and use

Paramore live @ Fillmore, MDThe smell of beer and sweat
Teenagers and the old mingling together as they wait; excitement building up.
Yells and laughter and music bringing us all together
Strangers become friends in a matter of minutes as they discuss about the band they've come to love and lyrics that give them goosebumps.
Smiling with a friend and suddenly, the lights go out.
Screaming and yeah's echo out as they're yelled out.
The opening act leaves our ears ringing, yet it's a pleasant kind of pain.
The drum solos vibrate to your core, the neon lights twirling and dancing, the crowd is in a restless state, enjoying the music that is being played by the first band, watching as they jump on the stage, the music taking over. But we're all waiting for the band that made us come out all the way here, that left us dying to see them.
She runs onto the stage, her bright colored hair flashing under the bright lights, her band mates, her makeshift fa

Imperfections and allMy dear young friends,
believe me when I say this...
we are young, we are free, we have many things to be thankful for.
So live life, don't worry over such stupid things.
Don't make decisions you'll regret later on, like I and so many others have done.
Don't follow in the footsteps of this foolish generation.
Don't worry about who you'll be "dating" next week, don't worry about being cool or being popular or what others think of you.
For there is no such thing as perfection in this world.
We are all imperfectly, imperfect.
You are you and that is enough.
Can't you see?
Sure, it may seem cool to do certain things and everyone else is doing it...
but that doesn't mean you have to do it.
Be uniquely you, for there is no one in this world who is like you.
Be your own sense of style, do what makes you happy and what defines you as you.
I am telling you all this, for when you all come seeking advice over things that you don't even need to be worrying about, I get this ache in my chest.

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Submitted: January 12
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The doubts and worries of Claire

by ~xrainxxcloud, Jan 12, 2013, 6:18:08 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

Those days lasted while they could.

But now reality has caught up with our smiles, and snatched them away from us.

I still remember everything.

The question is...

do you?

I'm not a hero.

I'm not your savior from another world.

I'm not Alice.

I am Claire...

and there's nothing that you and I can say or do to change that.

I'm not extremely talented nor can I smile and just like that, make everything better.

I am the foreigner, but of course, I am nothing special.

I don't have any 'powers' that will magically make everything dark and evil go away.

I'm just a 19 year old caught up in this storm.

Of course I admit, being here is the best thing that has happened.

Running away from a family that has never once understood me.

Running away from my realities and my expectations.

Running away... from almost everything I didn't want to face.

Running away- the one thing I hate doing.

Aren't I a hypocrite?

Saying I hate running away yet doing just that.

So many people, hopeful now that the foreigner has come.

Now that their hero has come.

But am I truly all those things?

Will I truly be able to rid this world of it's problems?

And then what will I do, after all the darkness has left?

Will the people of this world just throw me away?

Only using me for my abilities?

I don't know what to do.

But then again; have I ever known what to do?

The doubts and worries of Claireby ~xrainxxcloud

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

poem about what worries and doubts Claire has

~Tasu-Tasu Jan 13, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

Improvement, my good friend.
You've improved lots.
This brings out that Claire I've always loved reading in your story.
Wonderful.
//craiz.

_{_{This makes me want to try writing again, but yet again I'll always fail, I suck at writing. OH WELL}}

~xrainxxcloud Jan 13, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

el adflhaksf thank yewww ;w; coming from you, that actually means alot >w< AND YES. YOU SHOULD WRITE AGAIN. i miss it ; 3 ;

~Tasu-Tasu Jan 13, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

I shall write more.
Just for you.
But only when I need too thoughsnk

~xrainxxcloud Jan 13, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

<3 that's perfect for me.

~Sushui Jan 12, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

The feels o.q

This is a nice poem. Bravo o.q

~xrainxxcloud Jan 12, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

hahahahaha~ thanks! also thanks for the watch too ^w^

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The doubts and worries of Claireby ~xrainxxcloud

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